Quiverful?

I've been struggling lately with the concept of Quiverful lately.  I truly believe God is omniscient and omnipotent, and He certainly knows better than anyone, especially me, when I should have more children.  I have seen His miracles, His provision come when we've needed it, NOT when we were "ready" for more children, but when they arrived.  My husband was hired to his first teaching job when our first was 5 weeks old.  We conceived our second, and God provided an amazing new community and teaching job just a few months before her birth.  We can see His hand working in all the circumstances of our first few years of marriage.  Many look upon our first years of marriage as unsettled, chaotic, but I can see His promises, His preparation in all of it, just so He could bless us with the home, the job, the children that we have now.  Why would I NOT want to trust Him even more.  

So, where's the struggle, you ask?  I would love to have 10 or more children.  I trust that if God gave them to me, he would provide us the means to support and certainly to love all of them.  My struggle comes with the notion of "what if two children are all God has planned for me?"  I sit in eager anticipation of experiencing another pregnancy and delivery (yes, I enjoyed the labor and delivery too!).  God is working in amazing ways to lead our family to a much deeper appreciation of Him than even many churches see as normal.  I am still an unperfected work, and always will be, with no hopes of righteousness without the sin covering blood of Christ.  I believe the more children Christians have, in alignment with God's will (not out of selfish desire,) the more our future generations will be able to reach people for the Kingdom of God. 

I have to remind myself daily that I must be content in my circumstances.  I must be happy with "only" two children before I can be ready to accept more.  I cannot see my children as an incomplete blessing in themselves.  God has already lavished his love upon me through my husband and two amazing girls.  I cannot imagine those living the quiverful life, dealing with the prospect of never having children.  Again, I remind myself that this is a season of life.  I am also called to outreach, to teach my children to love their Lord with all their hearts, minds, and strength.   

As in all things, I pray not that God would change my circumstances, but that God would mold my heart, making me into the vessel He desires me to be for my husband, my children, and those around me.  

If you are in this same season of life, wether you share the quiverful mentality or not, I would love to hear from you!